I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
whose ass print is on the piano?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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