The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
