Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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