Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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