Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
