dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
