I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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