All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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