she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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