Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
