Got a toothbrush?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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