I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
