Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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