I puked a lego.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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