Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
