She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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