I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
