Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
