I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
