For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
