Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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