I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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