If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
