i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
