I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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