try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
