I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
