Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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