we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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