Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
