Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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