forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
