I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
