having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
