Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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