Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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