I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
