Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
