Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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