that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
