3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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