Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
