operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I need water and some morals
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
