I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
