I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
