I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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