i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
