i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
