Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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