I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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