I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
