you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he thought i was a dude.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
