And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
