to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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