So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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