me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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