singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
