I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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