Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
