so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
