get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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