I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
