Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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