He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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