yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
