You work out of a Hotel?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
