ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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