Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
