Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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