I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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