I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
